Wednesday, 15 June 2016

stone femme shoes archive May 19, 2008 - on being a gender queer femme

stone femme shoes archive
May 19, 2008 - on being a gender queer femme

what a day.........

in some ways it has reminded me that when ever i think i am the only one, when ever i think i am isolated in my experience.... that can NEVER be true.

ive been struggling lately with issues around my gender and sexuality. lately a lot of stuff around being stone/how i experience my body/how i think of my gender/how this relates to my sexuality....have come to the fore. its been PAINFUL...a lot of old hurt has come to the surface.

often ive had the feeling of being unable to speak about it, i tell myself there is no place to be heard, no one who will understand what i say. but my experience of speaking those things is so different from what my head tells me.

i think of another gender queer femme i know - who said to me 'before i met you i thought i was the only one'....and the irony that today when all through the day i felt close to tears and broken - some one rang me to do an interview.....and asked me the question 'so how would you describe your gender'.

and of course i managed to give a good sound bite on how im a 'bio' girl, who i looks so passing but that NONE OF THAT means ANYTHING about how i feel about my gender.

i have to laugh

...and i just spent an hour talking to a friend and crying and crying and crying.

i might write some more about this stuff later.

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