Wednesday, 8 June 2016

stone femme shoes archive May 01, 2008

stone femme shoes
May 01, 2008

i just slept for something like 10 hours...as it was getting to the point where something was going to fall apart (most likely me). this morning i feel a bit better, slightly PANICING that there is still so much work to do, but at the same time im able to see a lot has been done in the last few days. i dont know how to get over the feeling that i am slacking, fooling around, being a bit LAZY....there is always more stuff to do than i find physically or emotionally possible  :-\ so yeah...this is not an unfamiliar place for me to be - caught in between my own exhaustion and a stack of tasks.

news flash news flash news flash

well actually a bit of a slow moving 'news flash' due to my own lack of time to write here

the german ambassador for foreign affairs intervened and our friend here WAS granted a visa to attend the trans council in berlin.
i caught up with her just before she was due to leave....a crazy high speed meeting including modifying scripts, talking about film and sound recordings that need to be done for the transfab show and staging ideas for the collaborative piece that she will do with miss dotty.

i get a bit stressed with these meetings as often im talking to people i may have met once, or perhaps have only had email contact with..yet here i am trying to instill them with a sort of confidence in me and the project so that they will TRUST me and feel happy about telling very personal stories.

A is GREAT tho...she has already put so much work into developing the script via emails, its easy to work with her because she wants to do this so much. still im always aware of how nervous i am, how nervous the other person is! this is the second time we have had a meeting with just the two of us.
im excited about this piece tho...having two transwomen who live in totally different countries/cultures tell their stories alongside each other.
miss dotty will choreograph their dance together......of course they will only meet 3 days before the show but hey..IT WILL BE FINE. *practices breathing exercises*

after falling over and NOT getting very much sleep i go to meet two more activists who will come to london and perform in the transfab show.
(well actually i havent quite successfully convinced one of them yet)
one is my 'Diva' a highly strung man with a deep affection for louisa hay. he is a great drag queen.... i already have scripts sorted out for him - i trust him - i KNOW he will get incredibly nervous, sweat, panic....but he WILL go out there and do a beautiful show (at least i hope so) as in the past he always has.
my other guy...hmmm..well he is very shy, some one who has worked so damn hard as an activist for trans people in this country for the last 12 years, at the same time dealing with abuse and violence because of who he is. currently he is bringing together the serbian trans support group - they have been meeting for about a year and a half now. 12 people come regularly to the group, some are connected via phone or online, so in all there are about 23 people. he is also helping to start a group in sarajevo very soon.
i explain to him that if he comes to london its very important that he lets people know this story!! that he doesnt just hide in the corners and not say anything about the AMAZING work he is doing. i think we reach an agreement....im going to have to keep working on this one over the next few weeks. but spending time with both of them is great, when i arrived i was completely drained - not sure how to survive the meeting- when i left i was in a totally different mood  :D as i got such a recharge from their energy  ;D

its may 1st today (duh, i guess you know that) but being in this post communist country there is more of a history of celebrating workers day. today is a public holiday - and later i will meet my friend and we will take part in a demonstration with the local crew.

right now  im sitting ALONE in the apartment  ;D, just had a second cup of tea (you have no idea how hard it is to get a decent cup of tea around here) and im thinking to get on with the day. scripts, scripts, scripts.

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